Self stories: City not at species

[hoangtulonely]

[left] www.heavengay.com [/ left]

People accept the pen Can Van Khanh

The Autobiography of China

Until now I still think, the presence in the realms of my life is not destined to be star compulsive, and what grim that I have tasted and facing months on the long serial nor makes I cut that is. I was born to a mother, there must be a right decision, and whether someone who along with my blood latex or myself here regrets, tormented day and the end or not?











He treated us normally, I can not even slightly impressed, even by his lecture is nothing special. Only sometimes when one of us does not do her homework or the lazy music he had some action pretty sam is touched on sensitive parts of the body and make her scream with pain caused warming because he too strong hand. Course time now with the fledgling mind too and clear, we only considered the joke of a teacher with students.



I first raised in a chaotic emotional, not necessarily a terrible, not necessarily the two, it's a strange emotion never known in my life. The collision between the flesh body like a feedback, with me in white innocence which is another hard-boy what shocks strong attack but was vague. With no source of pleasure to keep up, no taste, no clear picture of the pulse energy sex joy, I have been an error in a stock role? Yes, say exactly, it is a role that the teacher had presented the elderly sick.

The first time I saw his ejaculate. Followed him. I sure like that. I sure know I was little, the world of others, behavior, behavior another. I have other capital. The first time I tasted sexual feelings, not with a little girl, a girl, a woman, but with an old man.

Simply xiet, run, that person, rubbed.

Slaughterhouse, a dark cloud intangible something that John has started, covering my life but I am too young and not yet fully awake, knowledge, experience to get out.

Complete sweep, he picked up from clothing, turn on the default. I follow, and with a rare to obey, I take him out of the room.

I suspect nghech even to the extent it is not sin. I'm sure first time, the child is 13 years old ngờ nghech as I do.

I have a girlfriend as I was born in 1979 in the age of 13 were also neighbors and invasive process continues so long that she knows only endure in extreme fear, shame, households that do not dare say to anyone . About the damage she has strong play crazy wild, often depressed, even when she married and happy with her husband. At age thirteen, no one up us, or give us any power to protect themselves.

No one.

The teacher for my old bike pile on his way, not the one to which his friend out, but in my house. He quietly cycling, only sometimes a dry cough. I heard he was tuberculosis. Occasionally due to sugar shock, I rub the head on him, suddenly the smell is very difficult to describe insurgent nose, Ngai ngai, concentration levels, response function, a glimpse of a body not long shower, smell of sweat, the the mucous plastic stick on the left stick up his mathematics teacher of mine, an old teacher had his wife and children and parents respect.

Just about to port, I was well into the underground.

Not recommended exploration. From him.

Not offer. From me.

Dirty! That is only my feeling at the time, to rũ clean, got to wash, to her deep into the brush to clean the period. Immediately. I run on the bathroom door closed tightly, the intense advertising from head to foot. Until I hear from parents than expected on prospects: "The ơi, do so in that long?". I still click each period palm, just one reason only two of the thinking of his mother will smell the disgusting things that smell from my body.

Evening gather both eat, my parents happy new district welding story, only I'm plugged in to the bowl but do not swallow account. The disgusting smell still divert first gold here, with time as the shock from the people I so. I am nauseated, trying to swallow all the rice grains and residual stand up. Tired parents thought I should not ask anything. I got up to sit at the table and read the error list, do not mind I intend to do at the beginning of his stuffing all, I do not want anything ballast classifieds. Perhaps because things happened so quickly arrived, and strange death.

I want a private space, to drop liquid.

I am not suffering, and not sad, just feel strange. Strange feeling until now when he was a man nearly thirty years, I never forget

Start by night, sleep no longer my careless drunk again. I thought about his old teacher, the actions he did to me and posed questions khacnhau, they filled one should mind my portal to the unwind but my grip pliers it. Great course I have not been fixed, something specific, very difficult to complete the course with a hyperactive boy like me.



After meals, my mother and my sister to work and write in school change. I washed dishes, swept finish, just up the steps, he called my name.

Perhaps he was waiting for me, a long time.

Perhaps he intestinal fever, restlessness, so he called my name.

Middle recent security master

Immediately. I carried it near the bed.

He looked at me intently, then slowly dropped his pants down. Just hang out to calves. And he also do with me. My thigh pants cumbersome, do not keep up, then uninstall it he pulled me down, Pressure Monitoring.

One can not see because I always lock the gates. And where he is having sex with me in a corner. There is no calculation here? I do not know. I just know, I like him being redeemed charm lú drug is not compulsive. When he put one hand down ve he stroked my hard on as it gradually hands of his rhythm, blood flows in my body gradually, gently and numbness spread. With a reflex is normal, I looked down what he his, it wizened, intensive re, drawing you do not like my little.

Unlike me.

Looks like there is also a reason that later I always set yourself the question that the body of the man to do, is like me? Therefore, I was always compelled to explore them.

Fast, urgent bustling. So scared for school or going to someone else, my friends, my parents, or neighbors suddenly appears not only from him. I silence while he whimper hu hu. Whether I start with pleasure, I remain silent, as in a terrible dirty as obtuse. Complete sweep, his pants pulled up, lie down, hard, by the people as people dying.

My bathroom again.

Left washing, ancient, got to clean the draft on pig body. I sa experience in space, known only to sit alone, quietly against lung butt chin rest, his old teacher lesson plans BenQ's course open, preparing for the school. He had assigned me and hold together in moments obtuse filled, then the time between the two body what? Only a lonely Household. Just a light look nonchalant xoet through, like an eraser to remove traces dirty. And then continue to override override each other forever, so thick and dirty wound up because of the com streaks overlap is not clear how popular compulsive.

When the classmates are in full, we start a normal school session, his behavior returned to normal. Fast. I learned quite a few when he should blame, or how his pet pupil than I am, I do not care for it. I still do very well the difficult problem that he made, strange things happen is not affected to some of my learning.

Age thirteen fledgling and not beloved, age thirteen is bleak memories in my soul to another government, the relatives do.

Childhood is not the same one. Complete course so I do not recognize my pain.

The following day, he would come home early do. I never would expect him, but I will not deny, do not shout, no protests. I almost called him a name. I to obey when he wanted. I default my desire for his vile. When he stroked me, riet broad spirit of my little baby. The heinous attack along with pleasure made me happy since losing the ability to control myself, I let my drift or be absorbed in the whirlwind of destiny?

I started to learn how to make your self happy, I know that masturbation is a star, how I feel humiliated struggling discovery of myself, the moment I think of him, imagine, draw enough to imagine. Not because the vibrations soothe affection, not as warm and gentle feelings of love, but later I was, just a routine full inspires. Must. Must. And I do not know how then you will need to do this. A child playing with, bogged down in mud dark desire free man unconscious by the curtain covering it up secret that a change is natural and invisible.

Not only that, today is not the mother, he mò to kitchen where I cook rice. Available forced me to the wall.

He never took me back flat mold lack of light that first he took me to lie there. He did not hesitate to fear but fear of having sex with me right in the cramped kitchen of my home.

One day, when he is the father I love mải surprise home. Looks like the announcement I saw the ball under his kitchen. I can not open the gates just because confusion and fear. Saw my father enter, he relaxed and went to greet course.

My father asked: 'Why Vinh down master chef to do? ". I do not remember I had fabricated a reason to answer the question of my father, only to know whether stem wild where I was also trying to cope this situation .. Necessarily natural father but I felt an unfamiliar system and students should think about my father but because I did not say anything more.

Not without a chance to express to the bung the truth overcast dinner so I end street prop, so I chose as a player and tried to conceal. Fixed capital in case the buildings are on a hard layer of lime gradually over by the time accidentally Accretion tightly wrapped my body soft and baby burn oat.

Throughout nearly a year, his old teacher has always appeared in my life. Like ghosts. Like light sleep forgotten, sank into darkness for desire detector path example.

ết a fall, to winter, through spring and summer, my summer vacation and learn more of our group ended. His old teacher did not have the opportunity to meet with me again. Although sometimes I still encounter him in the school playground. Leaders protein is the only feeling I get from him.

Later I learned he also seduce and sexually abused several male students in the school, someone has to actually free peeling ceiling of his face. I inevitably he suffered a humiliating and catastrophic know how.

Few years later, I heard that he died of tuberculosis.

I up grade nine, starting with vague ideas of the same sex who live around me, whom I met in the crowd on the street. Naturally I always aspire to live in the mood they want to know how. Ostensibly they like me, but behind the other layers of clothes, they do more or not?

I'm not interested in girls with four layers, although they are also pretty adorable as the body is in the bloom period up nang sexy. I play friendly with them but not sexual impulse energy toward them. Starting from here, I actively choose life for me, as I like Tuan, a young classmate.

Tuan handsome, high and white to clear, he is under one year old but I do study the poor should be saved. Because I was Secretary of the Youth Union should earn grade teacher assigned me tutoring, academic help Tuan. The daily close and appearance of the week made me strong was attractive. I feel in mind, a clear nostalgia for the gander vibration first step into love. I have unilaterally request that Tuan. With all the instincts of his secret.

Meanwhile, Tuan and I play with a group of friends both boys and girls. Sometimes Tuan abandoned me and went with Huong, the most beautiful daughter in the group made me miserable, sad loss of a few days. Addition Huong, Tuan also play friendly with his son in the months and another layer of feeling lonely make my heart raised hờn little jealous. I want Tuan, possession for their own him. I bring the love of many different colors, in my eyes when the week is always respected his brother surrounded carrying cover me, when your body is always in a timely comfort me sad. And more as I need Tuan loved most of my life.

We had the beautiful date, can be considered natural Tuan my soul like a child burn baby brother or kittenish, but always take care to Tuan. But actually I have feelings for more than a week, if not I have not seethe in each meal and sleep thinking ngu.khi Tuan, Tuan would be seen.

Then on farewell to secondary to tertiary and to, there is also the day I Tuan elusive. I feel he is a fade, and understandable only. Someone has to store soy relationship between me and Tuan, they have felt something unusual. I was hurt. Day, I just love that aspires to a sincere, quiet and mild sweetness. Gradually from a studious boy and against ngợm I became weak among the crowd, sank about empty vague distant. The rainy night I used to write error logs, write to Tuan.

"November 13, 1995

Rích sad rain fell on the quiet space, perhaps this time people were sleeping and all, only the child as his pupil sat listening to the rain and write diary nhỉ only. Free train whistle out there away from the station do not understand or clear again. What late night train that runs the nhỉ. Then you only ship to hear the rain, rain ring would feel sad or happy I do not understand this. Just remember that rainy days make you sad happy just went through.



The distance between me and Tuan on a remote, up to my third grade school Kim Lien. Tuan turn into a reclining other way. New life, washed away my new friends, make me forget that I ever sad because absence Tuan. And throughout the three year grant, the feeling of love would remember Tuan returned to the old days but the other sons, he was Army.




I just want to Army fun. Every day he is cycling from Russia from my office at half mast to go to school, told the same hearing the stories fun, sad during long distance to school Lang Lang makes me happy so I just had, where aspiring full version power is a party intimates always inspires in me, I wish I moments the Army will not change. Because I always feel very lonely page. Even in his family.





Me and him just because of the chaff that or longer together, but only one on the Left as healthy, he will come home one is me, appease, the two that I will apologize for him. I would normally wait for him to sit with me in every table lessons, or pretend to him accidentally with his check on me. Each hờn angry, I never dared to charge him, I only own ballast and classifieds sites log on here more because of the weak attack wild wild, wild wild but he weak, they will bring about Where?

"April 9, 1997

They just want to cry do not cry popular. You only see their accrued heart, broken, they want something that I did not understand ... You go, think and think a lot. But something to happen you do not cut that popular. You think maybe tomorrow they will leave school and go somewhere he will have regrets "

Many and various. Lines like that. And of course I do not drop out of school life. Just in my cup and protect him "In his anger again?" I smile a huge grin. Army finished logs with many words for love, I give him to read. General Manager complete silence, he understood my heart, but he remains indifferent do not know what I also do not need more. I just know him for his immense love that I meet beautiful and much prayer.

In grade twelve, we are ready to prepare the spirit for the university exam. My mother diligent search for additional classroom training for my review. Major revision in class A training block, I knew these feelings bâng khuâng first gently with a girlfriend.


Seventeen has not expired Greater gander, I started to remember about this,, remember the strong-willed and request resources from the best of her. I usually add to the classroom early, waiting for her, say hello and see the faces of her character. We sit side by side, feeling the warm shores of invisible, I tried hard to no education about this, and worse about this, is the opposite.

In the Army I forget Hong Anh, at the Hong Anh, Japanese small silhouette. I still often stand between the two states because he feelings for two people will have reached the same. Hong Anh and I only have the opportunity to meet the additional classes, fun and friendly as how couples, but until the Hong Anh Dam Dam started or look at me, I suddenly saw something different.



She can wait for me.



But until the dry rose again, falling lả describe each wing, I still consider about this, as a girlfriend body. Only that's all. I was forever silent. Forgive Middle nhé. Since China can not lie, lie is bad, especially with Hong Anh.

I did not dare dream about this, will go along on the path length, because I know I can not for the daughter he a love full integrity. I know I want one and sacrifice for one, do anything for anyone. Only the Army can only, who makes me happy to close, who make my heart pain, anxiety right away

End of grade twelve, the county has a girlfriend. I became the third person, seeing him and Dung, who love him say the same sinking. Happy for him and sad for her, I was not jealous, ie up to the daughter he. Management can not award this, perhaps my feelings for him too big, to the point he just happy, I'm also happy then.

However, I still remember silently trade, has always sought close to him.



Image that I still hold, pasted into the diary, the words full of love for the Army.

I'm not ashamed to know their weakness before the Army, and I also do not care when almost everyone in my class know that I love for a special Army. But little is shunned and scorn, silently thanked the time of universal school year brought me the good friend.

These events occurred subsequent turn after working in the school for university entrance exam full of important that I know it will be great to decide my life, I passed exam Dong Do University, dream into the Economy International failed due to lack of half points. Force also passed into the architecture, almost Suichang volunteer his dream.

Dong Do I entered school. Here, new environmental Left drag me out of nostalgia about the Army.



Ha Tinh Duc who live in Hanoi but from small. Germany take home in Xuan La, Xuan Dinh, but every chance I have and Germany to the other players. I called the German name is Nhóc friendly, confess his real fun.

German first time I come home, see my lovely sister and whispered affection or jokes: "He made China the Nhóc law nhé em!" I just laugh. Nhóc pages log on more recent memories. Especially the same time I eat, gravitate playing with Germany, the German car behind me, put both arms around me tightly, cause I run up with these feelings do not describe. Now I do not mind at velvet know more.

One morning, Germany over the permission for my parents to the Germany game. Brothers do not know cycling is very pungent tired, tiu role headline story. Home, mother German considerate reception. Mother German security: "The brothers then washed limbs to rest for the mother to cook rice to eat. I went into the chamber and Germany. Based chamber small window overlooking the sunny garden. The two fell down her bed xuyt deleted because cold, I never lie next to Germany, although Germany was me and hug each other, hold hands in hands together for warmth winter clog. Is the impact fragile, vague transient only.



First kiss away, two young boys of seventeen and eighteen, soft, sweet and very quickly disappear as Member candy bi childhood. Very quickly, the German chain of foolishness from me, leaving root chamber, leaving me wonder ignore.

I almost ran the last German side, but eventually I just know the flaming blankets covering sealed surface, drifting in the disordered emotional level indefinitely. Why? Why? Price as Nhóc stay with me, I'd be more than Nhóc, affection to be more than that. Nhóc have accepted me then. Why I run away?

To meals, Germany still check on me and start a normal conversation fun, but I do not. I plugged in the bowl of rice. Finished eating, I claim the right. Germany took me to the alley, then I welcome the German cycling rapt, mind reel not know where to go on top.

Why do I only know the immersive son? Why I'm new to realize I am a biological species communication between the world of this vast spacious.

Wake me in the darkness of body eyes German bank environment, desire Am I the same make me ignited. I turn people from the thirst cravings, depression due to loneliness. Left because life is not how to aspire to, I dream dream dream full mị midnight and wake up startled in the right clothes wet saturated. Cold and sad, just want to hug from a man's body.

Then dreams, dreamed up his old teacher of Mathematics is to confirm with black leg khiu quap my thighs tightly that teeter fondling. Half struggling to escape, half to sink in utter joy forever crazy my book is to go where. I do not sleep full of integrity for you. After he kiss of Germany. It really desire was awakened in me ..

Desire inspires me every day making apple becomes exist, despite the German think about me. I often pendulous his German home, or actively cycling home to Germany. After the normal questions, I just want to have private spaces with Germany.



On my attic, or the basis of the German chamber warmth, affection us together. The strong I do not resist making Germany. I rejoice flooded sinking pleasure to be manipulated as sources of emotional love muội including accrued through compression. But while the German no longer, leaving life alone in the dark, I wonder what you're doing, thinking what living here? I have another teacher what his old illness are forced to lead by example, the German way of my desire differences, although Germany is a son normal. Suffering of my or anyone else in the world is gay as I love the people not the world together with him.

But on, I know where to find them. Quote from: www.heavengay.com